'She Don't Wantchu' Cues - Part Deux.

In no particular order.

These are all seemingly common sense, however I find that many men (and probably women) are guilty of ignoring social cues that are utilized simply in an effort to not outwardly hurt anyone's feelings, injure anyone's pride, or blatantly say 'dude your an asshole. please go away.' Why do dudes want to force us to do that?

These cues, if adhered to, are very effective and leave all parties feeling good about themselves and ready to move on and kick it to the next person. That "be up front and honest, and just say what you feel" crap is bull. No man (or any person for that matter) wants to acknowledge that you don't want them - especially the ones who are convinced that everyone wants (or should want) them.  (Guys and gals, there are exceptions to this rule. You can totally be like 'neighbah, please get up out my face.' This really applies to situations when you've been conversing with a person for a while and assume that means that they want you.  Some women are just cool and friendly and will talk to you.  But once you've hit that point, you can't assume that she's gonna agree to be your baby mama.) Sometimes being upfront ends up just becoming an excuse for a dude to use his bruised ego to call you a b*tch, a lesbian, or a man-hater. So with that I say, dudes, don't make us do that. I for one never want to be rude, and I'll carry on a great convo with you for a minute, but that doesn't mean I want to sit on your face.  So when you ask for my number and I say "Oh, I don't really talk on the phone", please take that cue and run with it.

'She Don't Wantchu' Cues:

Scenario 1:
So you got the digits.  Sometimes that isn't the challenge.  As noted in a previous blog entry, I recklessly give out the google voice number attached to my phone. Plus, to be honest sometimes there's nuff pressure at the moment and you just give it to move on and away. Giving out fake numbers is so 1998 - you're bound to run into some of these people again if you keep a tight(ish) circle... so, sometimes you just feel like it's easier to give out the number, and figure it out later.

Later comes. You call. She doesn't answer. You may or may not leave a voicemail. If you don't, and she doesn't ever call you back (knowing the missed call was from you) - obviously, she don't wantchu. (*Note - if she does wantchu, but ain't callin' back cuz she's tryin' to be cute and playin' games, that's too much already for y'all to not even know each other so just move on - but... why you ain't just leave a message or sum'n?). But if you do leave a vm and she texts back a response and avoids talking to you on the phone, she don't wantchu and she's trying to be nice. Please accept her kindness, and resign. Sidebar - if you got her number in a group setting on some 'oh, cool, we cool, erbody cool, let's be cool... so... cool' then please don't get mad when you hit her up on some sexy flexy ish and she's not responsive. You kinda tricked her, dude.

If you refuse to accept that she don't wantchu and press on for a 'meet-up' opportunity, pay close attention to the response. Don't ignore the cues. You making me mad right now as I think about it and 'you' aren't even a real person, so that goes to show how annoying this can be. So if you're like 'oh we should go out for dinner and drinks or something' and she would prefer to do something that her friends can come to, or coffee, or lunch or things of the daytime 'I wanna make sure I don't have to be around you too long, and that I have something to do later' sort, she don't wantchu. Dinner is like... sexy flexy. It requires more getting ready, having to pick girly things from the menu, and having to be all like... 'dinner-ee.' The other situations are more casual - they don't necessarily denote her not wanting you if you started with lunch or coffee, and she accepted.  But if you started with dinner and she was like 'nah B. Let's do lunch' then she's trying to put you on pause.  I got tricked into dinner once from what was supposed to be a coffee meet up, and I didn't even realize I had gotten tricked until like two days later. I was kinda mad son. But anyway, trying to squirm out of a dinner is a cue. Take that, take that, take that.

TBC.